sticks and stones and words…hurt

Sticks and Stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me… is so incredibly off the mark. 

 A few years ago, I cut my finger using a really sharp knife and for a very long time I could feel the knife cutting into my flesh.   All I had to do was see that particular knife and I could feel the knife cutting me all over again.  This is exactly how hurtful words feel. I have been cut to the core of my very being, twice.  Each time the words came flying in out of left field.  Totally unexpected!   The person might as well have used a knife, because the wounds are as deep and the scar tissue is just as real. 

I think the reason these particular exchanges remain so raw in my memory are because they were spoken by individuals that I cared for a great deal.  I also think the words hurt because I had given everything I had to give to each situation.  If I shared the exact words with you, you would probably think, what’s the big deal?    I really do not think that the individuals meant to hurt me with their words,  but they did and unfortunately they still do. 

 I don’t remember everything about each of those encounters except  who was there and what was said. I don’t dwell on these comments, in fact I rarely think about them,  but when they do come floating back up from the recesses of my mind they are real. I am hopeful that I can use the memory of how these words made me feel to keep me from hurting someone with my words. 

I am sure, almost positive,  that I have on numerous occasions cut someone with my words.  I wasn’t always as nice as I am today.  I do not know who I might have hurt so I have asked God to forgive me.  I have asked God to use my hurts to keep me from hurting others with careless mis-spoken words.  If you are reading this and I have ever hurt you with my words, I ask for your forgiveness.  Also, I ask for your prayers as I try to look at these memories from a different prospective so I can grow, overcome and be more Christ like in my life.

Be careful what you say…your words are the one thing that you can never take back.

1 Comment

Filed under Life..such as it is, my story.., plain and simple

One response to “sticks and stones and words…hurt

  1. Thank you for your words, its a good reminder! Here a story which describes the effect of bad words really good:

    “A younger woman one day said something that hurt (insult) her best friend. She regretted it immediately, and would have done anything to have taken the words back. But they were said, impulsively, in a moment of thoughtlessness, and as close as she and her friend were, she didn’t consider the effects of her words beforehand.

    In her effort to undo what she had done, she went to an older, wiser woman in the village. Explaining her situation, and asked for advice. The older, wiser woman listened patiently in an effort to determine just how sincere the younger woman was, how far she was willing to go to correct the situation.

    The older, wiser woman said, “There are two things needed to do to make amends. The first of the two is extremely difficult. Tonight, take your best feather pillows, and open a small hole in each one. Then, before the sun rises, you must put a single feather on the doorstep of each house in town. When you are through, come back to me. If you’ve done the first thing completely, I’ll tell you the second.”

    The younger woman hurried home to prepare for her chore. All night long she laboured alone in the cold. She went from doorstep to doorstep, taking care not to overlook a single house. Her fingers were frozen, the wind was so sharp it caused her eyes to water, but she ran on, through the darkened streets, thankful there was something she could do to put things back the way they once were.

    Just as the sun rose, she returned to the older, wiser woman. She was exhausted, but relieved that her efforts would be rewarded. “My pillows are empty. I placed a feather on the doorstep of each home.”

    Now, said the older, wiser woman, “Go back and refill your pillows. Then everything will be as it was before.”

    The younger woman was stunned. “You know that’s impossible! The wind blew away each feather as fast as I placed them on the doorsteps! You didn’t say I had to get them back! If this is the second requirement, then things will never be the same.”

    “That’s true”, said the older, wiser woman. “Never forget. Each of your words is like a feather in the wind. Once spoken, no amount of effort, regardless how heartfelt or sincere, can ever return them to your mouth. Choose your words well, and guard them most of all in the presence of those you love, because remember one kind word can warm three winter months.”

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