Tag Archives: Social Sciences

Lies and Deception…

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I would like to say that I am very fortunate that as far as I know I live in a “liar” free zone, with the exception of one person…I know this because I have had my feelings hurt and heart-broken by family and friends who have chosen to tell the truth over telling lies.

Hurt experienced because of truth is far easier to overcome than hurt caused by lies.

I would venture to say that almost everyone lies.  We lie about our weight and our age.  We tell people we will call them for lunch and we don’t.  We may even exaggerate how much we saved on our last shopping spree.  We may even tell little lies on our blog by omitting a truth about when a picture was actually taken, like it really matters.

These little lies are still lies and if you get in the habit of telling little lies the next thing you know you will be telling big lies.

An adult who lies on a regular basis is considered to be an habitual liar. Or even worse, a compulsive liar or a sociopath.

“A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (unlike a sociopath), rather they simply lie out of habit – an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship.”

“A sociopath is typically defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. A sociopath is often goal-oriented (i.e., lying is focused – it is done to get one’s way).  A sociopath has little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. A sociopath often is  charming and charismatic, but they use their talented social skills in manipulative and self-centered ways.”

The unfortunate thing about compulsive/sociopathic liars are that they have done if for so long, they don’t even think about what they are doing…This is really sad. How do you get someone to get help when they don’t think they have a problem.

Just look at the adults who have been in the news this past week who are caught up in the deception of lies.  There is the on going story of Manti Teo’s girlfriend hoax. Who is the liar in this story?  Then there is Lance Armstrong.  Who has admitted to  lying for years about doping.

When an adult chooses to lie they are sending a message to whoever is listening.  The message is this…I matter more than you do.  I don’t care about your feelings.  I will say whatever I have to, to get what I want, when I want it.  They are so convincing they may even cause you to second guess what you know to be THE TRUTH!

Lies and deception have been around since the beginning of time…and will be around until the end of time.  Be the TRUTH teller…set an example for those around you. Live your life above reproach.

Liars and the deceptive web they weave will be exposed in time.

Luke 8:17 “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.”

Leviticus 19:11 “Do not lie. Do not deceive one another.”

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y is for yellow…social and enthusiastic (a-z challenge)

 

I know your mind has probably taken you to a very sunny happy place.  A place filled with yellow daffodils, fuzzy ducks, lemon cake with lemon frosting, yellow tulips or a yellow school bus.  Quite possibly you are thinking about the yellow pages, a yellow daisy or little yellow rubber ducks.  Maybe your mind has you thinking about yellow labs, bananas, taxi cabs or even yellow highlighters.

These are exactly the things I used to think about when I heard someone mention “yellow”.  However, all of that changed a couple of years ago.  I no longer think in these terms thanks to a personality profile assessment test that we were asked to participate in where I work. 

I will admit that I was a bit hesitant and anxious to take the test.  I was happy knowing what I knew about my psyche.   I was just as happy not knowing certain things about myself that could burst my perfect little bubble.  Of course there was also the concern that something less than complimentary would be revealed which would give pause to my employer about my ability to get my job done. 

Obviously I had some issues that I was unwilling to see from someone elses perspective.  Especially a very cold impersonal computer test which could not possibly understand everything that makes me tick. The test took all of 5 minutes to complete. It turns out that the computer test pegged me and everyone else who answered the questions truthfully dead on.  What an eye-opening experience for me.

My personality test revealed that I am YELLOW…no not yellow as in jaundice or cowardly.  According to the Insights Discovery Personality Profile Yellow is social, dynamic, demonstrative, enthusiastic and persuasive.  A person with a “yellow” personality was likened to a Golden Retriever.  A person who is fun to be around but will chase any butterfly or frisbee that comes into view. 

Some of things the test revealed were not a surprise to me.  I am happy to serve and help others.  I am friendly and sociable.  I have a strong sense of community and I am trusting and tolerant of others’ actions.

The test also revealed that my particular color yellow is very different from that of my co-worker who is also yellow.  On the color wheel there are many variations of the color yellow, some have more green and some have more orange in the mix.  My personality cocktail, so to speak, is unique to me and how God designed me to be. 

The other colors on the wheel are green, blue and red.  The person with a “green” personality is focused on values and the depth of the relationship.  The person with a “blue” personality is typically introverted and has a desire to know and understand the world around him.  The person with a “red” personality is extroverted and has high energy. 

My personality is definitely a mixture of all of the colors on the wheel.  When working with budgets and computer spreadsheets my naturally creative side must make room for the analytical side to get the job done.  And somedays require me to be more caring and attentive so I have to dig deeper for the ‘green” in me.  Then there are days when the “I’m in charge” “fiery red” side of me comes out of left field and has to make a statement or two. 

All in all this is who I am, one very bright, mixed up yellow golden retriever chasing frisbees. I wouldn’t want to be any other color than the color YELLOW!

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Filed under Blogging from A-Z April Blogging Challenge, Life..such as it is, postaweek2011